Dancing Bodies

Dancing bodies are never enough
Apparently. At least that is what you say to me
They can move between, under, over and everywhere
Exploring the furtherest of exiled desires
That have been hung on dark walls of a locked room with a black door
Scribbled in old blood: fear vulnerability
So. Sadly our dancing bodies are confined to drunken dawns inside leased out rooms
Our dancing bodies never to dance under the weak winter sunlight
Our bodies are not enough (according to you)
Never enough
To build heaven for us

My Ethiopian God-man

My Ethiopian God-man
I had hopes of us writing a beautiful novel with our lives together
But it turns out you only wanted a verse
I could have settled for a chapter
but I'm growing and learning not settle for more than what i deserve
As you were before you met me
And to me, the same
Thank you.. For teaching me about a beautiful kind of loving
I shall remember your touch
(and nope..Im not crying. Its windy outside.)

your weird and crazy young lover friend

June 16

June 16 2011
the day I met you.
by chance
I have been dying to myself eversince
I will never allow anyone to kill my spirit like i allowed you
this is the promise i make myself
June 16 2012
the day i forgot about you..
you evil piece of shit

What my Mama never said:

I always saw my Mama pack her heart and put in a suitcase
every time Papa left
She had her back turned
So I never saw how rugged and bloody it had been
To protect me I guess

But I wish my Mama had told me
That loving a man can be the most liberating feeling
That it can be a process of receiving healing
That it can be a process of sharing
That you can get addicted to the warmth of his body

What my Mama never said:
Was that loving a man can be a form of suicide
You die to yourself and become an ugly stranger
That loving a man can mean actively hating yourself
That at some point: you have to pack your heart in a suitcase
To escape the pain. So that you can live.
My Mama never told me women have to leave a space for deception
That my grandmother's grandmother had been made fools
And that I will be no different and 'knowing book' won't save me

Fuck! I'm here now with my suitcase

im deserving...

I deserve to be held tight when I cry
I deserve to be tickled till I laugh soundless
I deserve to feel so safe I fall asleep in your arms
I deserve to receive calls telling me you love me
I deserve to be told I'm beautiful
I deserve to feel like a priority
I deserve to be kissed beside pavements, your of telling the world I'm with you

I deserve to be loved by a grown man
I deserve a real man
A man who is not afraid to own his emotions no matter how scary it might be
A man not scared to love me with abandon
A man who doesn't disappear when the road turns into the hills
A man who will wake up every morning to forgive
A man who will inspire me to be HIS woman

Remembering...

Remember the first time I met you?
I do-
Only because I wrote that poem
The one asking you to forget about me

Then 2 months later
Remember I wrote the second poem
I do
Only because while writing it, I thought I would burst
The one telling you I loved you

8 months later. This still has not changed